TWALK! (aka: Matagari, the devil plant)

Every year the Canterbury Uni Tramping club (CUTC) puts on TWALK, a 24 hour orienteering race in the farms outside Christchurch. A whole bunch of us from the OUTC drove up so we could kick CUTC’S butt. My van had planned to camp beside the road but at the last minute Friday night I texted my friend Sam in Christchurch to ask if I could bring 10 random people over to sleep on his floor that night. To which he responded “sweet as”. I love kiwi hospitality

After a good night’s sleep (much better than if we’d camped between the road and the train tracks) we met up with the 200 or so other TWALKers to be driven by bus out to an undisclosed point where the race would begin. It was a perfect day and the location of the event had gorgeous scenery. The bus dumped us off by the side of the road, we were given topo maps of the area with little circles drawn on them for where the clues were placed and everybody took off running.

Team 'Velociraptor Awareness' with our mascot Albi the Racist Raptor

Costumes are popular at TWALK, our team name was “Velociraptor Awareness” and we carried our mascot, Albi the racist raptor (google Albi + FOTC if you don’t get it), along on the first leg. The best costumes though were 3 people dressed as kegs. 17km, 13 of the 14 clues found, many matagari scratches (a plant I have developed a new hatred for) and 6 hours later my group reached the hash house, a shearing shed at the host farm where we could warm up and get fed before heading out on the next leg of the race. We ate as much as we could and then 4 of our 8 team members took off into the dark for the next leg of the race at about 7pm. The rest of us ate and attempted to sleep for a few hours before they came back at midnight having found several clues, but also having fully drained our super bright flashlights for navigating in the dark.

7am after the sun had just come up and we could see where we were again

Only one person in each group has to go for 24 hours, and ours napped for about 2 hours until we headed back out again at 3am. Navigating in the pitch black, with only a compass and a map, no idea where you are, trying to find clues hidden in the bushes was a new challenge to me. After failing miserably on the first clue and falling into the bog we decided to back track and tackle the 3rd leg from end to beginning because the end of it was along fence lines. This would at least give us an idea of where we were. Following a mantra of “follow the fence lines at all costs” we got only slightly lost and ended up on the wrong side of the field we wanted to be on. Fortunately at that point the sun came up, for which we were all very grateful. We found about half the clues on the 3rd leg and returned to the hash house, wrecked physically due to covering lots of kms in the dark and total lack of sleep. It was an awesome weekend though, something I would definitely do again!

“We’re a pretty odd group of people if our idea of fun is to pay 100 dollars to spend the weekend sleep deprived wandering around farms looking for little pieces of plastic with words written on them.”
- at approximately 1am in the hash house, exhausted and sleep deprived

Camerons velociraptor posting

My friend Cameron sent me the message below in regards to the velociraptor group photo taken on Franz Josef glacier.
————————————-
Dear Tracy,
I have a few comments to make regarding the dinosaur pose group shot. I won’t go so far as to say I’m disappointed, but it would be dishonest for me not to mention I felt a mite despondent when I first saw this picture. Let’s do our best to turn this into something positive shall we?
I am assuming you were going for “generic dinosaur” (closely related to both the Tyranasaurus Rex and Velociraptor impersonations, with differences subtle enough that distinguishment is not necessary for this rudimentary analysis). If you would like tips on the aforementioned species, I may be willing to provide some should you show the necessary dedication.
(I am afraid I would not be able to assist with anything beyond the Paleogene period or with any of the aquatic species. Pterosaurs and close relatives are negotiable, however a small fee would be required to cover equipment costs.)
The “generic dinosaur” must convey the each of the “four essences” of dinosaur: hungry, clumsy, extinct, and corrupt. Motion is a significant element which we will naturally (and unfortunately) have to ignore at present. If any of you demonstrate significant progress in your static postures and can assure me that you can endure necessary rigours without injury, I may be persuaded to provide tutelage in dynamic posturing.

General comments:
-Dinosaurs had nothing to smile about. They lived each and ever day with the imminent threat of magma liquefaction and cannibalization.
-TWO FINGERS! The other three should be tightly clenched. The index and middle fingers should be curved and tense.
-The top lip should be pulled back and tight to expose the teeth. The mouth should be about 65% open, and the lower jaw should be as far as possible to the left.
-Shoulders should be in a high “shrugged” position.
-The head should be tilted to the left. Your cheekbone should touch your shoulder.
-Elbows should be tucked in closely on the sides of the body. Hands (claws) should be about five inches apart, directly in front of the chest.
-There is an enormous amount of literature on leg positioning which I have no time to delve into at present… just keep your feet slightly spayed outward and you won’t get into too much trouble.

Picture of a real dinosaur for inspiration

Standard Face

Profile

Poised and Ready

Attack

Common Pitfalls

Dinosaur transformation/attack (not suitable for minors):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYG0I_O0bQo

Sincerely,
Cameron

Velociraptor training weekend at the Franz Josef Glacier

A group of us from the OUTC decided to drive over to the west coast and the Franz Josef glacier for the weekend. The purpose of our trip was to take part in a training course for Velociraptor awareness in preparation for Velociraptor awarenss day in a couple of weeks on April 17. We spent the weekend putting ourselves into various situations in which you might get attacked by a Velociraptor and learning how to save ourselves.

Kiwi Crossing

The weekend began with an 8 hour drive across the country over to the west coast during which Tim introduced us to fun new car games such as “text a random friend” where everybody in the car texts one persons friend, who nobody else knows, completely random stuff. Much hilarity resulted from this, for example:

“My elephant is broken, please advise” – car person
“I have a rhino you can use for spare parts if you would like.” – random friend

“Do you like velociraptor burgers?” – car person
“Yes, but I can’t make any right now because I’m observing earth hour.” – random friend

(my random friend in question here may end up reading my blog and thus figure out what was going on, but as far as I know has no idea)

We arrived at Franz late Friday night and promptly fell asleep in our friends living room. Saturday morning we went for a short walk up to a view point where we discussed various escape plans if a Velociraptor were to attack. The west coast is really green and full of vegetation, with lots of hiding spots for Velociraptors. It reminded me a lot of the forests in South America. That afternoon we were lucky enough to be taken up on the Franz glacier by one of the guides my friends knew for free! I’ve never been on a glacier before where you could wander around down in the crevasses in the ice falls. It was very cool, and fun to not be on a guided tour so we could go off the track normally taken. After about 4 hours of squeezing through crevasses and ice tunnels and making escape plans for Velociraptor attacks we came down for dinner.

Velociraptor awareness weekend on the Franz Glacier

That night a few of us went out to (the only) bar in Franz Josef. It was an interesting mix of people, mainly being old crusty glacier guides, foreign glacier guides or tourists passing through. Definitely one of the more hilarious places I’ve been out to in NZ. Then we left early Sunday for the long drive back to Dunedin. However, we did get to stop briefly at Tim’s parents place for dinner, which was at their beautiful walnut orchard outside of Cromwell.

On the Franz Glacier